Guild Bored 2
This is, because I am FAR TOO LAZY to retype it all, a Discord transcript of me explaining why, despite enjoying it for the most part, Guild Wars 2 is going to drive me to a five-state killing spree before too long.
Enjoy.
Okay. Here's the story of the mastery thing with some details so you can appreciate how fucked this is.
At level 10, if you've bought even one expansion, GW2 gives you a ground mount. It's a giant velociraptor, basically.
I see a "Mount Adoption License" on the in-game store that costs a small amount of real money and would provide, as far as I can tell, this lovely boy
A giant sparkling stellar fox mount? SOLD. So I buy it. What I did not know, because it is only stated in extremely small text in a tiny corner of the window, is that this is a mount SKIN Me: [gritting my teeth] "Okay. How do I get access to the mount?" Well, it's an unlock in the Path of Fire expansion, so now I must buy that. (US$30) Okay. Surely I can do the intro quest and then trundle up to a vendor and buy it, right?
NOPE.
To unlock the Jackal mount (which this skin is for), you must first unlock the Springer and Skimmer mounts.
Unlocking the Springer mount requires leveling up a "Mastery" track to teach your Raptor mount to vault long distances.
"Mastery" has two elements: the level (replaces your exp bar in max level zones) and, once the level is "full," using Mastery Points to unlock the effect.
I have enough mastery points so that I grind out events and such to learn the long jump for the Raptor. Okay. Fine.
I get to the town where you can get the Springer, which requires filling their "renown heart" doing tasks around it. Doesn't take long. I buy the Springer. Yay!
You need to unlock the "High Vault" mastery for Springer to unlock the next bit. I check. It's THREE MASTERIES IN to the Springer tree.
So I grind. And grind. And explore, and grind.
PROBLEM: You need actual Mastery points to buy the upgrades once the "exp" bar is full. Mastery points largely come from either doing the (long, convoluted, full of horde mode fights that last a year) main story, or from "Mastery point" places in the world where you can solve a puzzle or do a jumping/climbing task or win a fight.
So I start checking for where there's mastery points so I can finally unlock the high jump part.
I visit them. One after another after another. And each time, EACH TIME "To reach this you need [mount or mastery I don't have yet, because I haven't unlocked this mastery]"
So I need mastery points to get my high jump, and I need my high jump (OR MORE) to get mastery points.
We are now two calendar days and two mount unlocks into this process. Somehow, I get a mastery point from an achievement. Huzzah! I start heading to the town where you can get the Jackal mount.
This takes a few hours because it's in some fuckoff corner of the map in a zone I can't navigate. I get there. It's in a place surrounded by toxic sand, where you have to use the Skimmer mount (a manta ray that floats) or the damage over time will kill your mount, then you.
I see a staircase I need to take up to the town where the mount quest is. It's on a raised platform. I try to get on it... nothing. From any side, any angle, I can't get high enough on a skimmer.
I try on the Springer (a rabbit that high jumps) but it's almost impossible to do before the DoT kills the mount and then me!
At this point we're nearing 3 days, it's two in the morning, and I alt-f4 the game.
(At this point a friend says: "what the fuck")
OH WE'RE NOT DONE
I come back the next day and consider my options.
The Skimmer has an ability to rise slightly off the ground if you hold jump. You CAN get it to hover higher.
Guess how that gets unlocked.
Me: "I am not doing this shit again."
Trial and error and some googling uncovers a like, 20 pixel wide segment of the base that lets you get up there with a normal jump. I get up there.
Finally, we're getting close.
I do the renown heart. I go to the vendor.
He wants 20 gold. I do not HAVE 20 gold. The only real way to earn gold in that amount in this game that wouldn't take WEEKS is to buy the pseudocurrency they use for their store (gems) and convert it into gold, which you can do.
We are now, counting the cost of both the skin AND the expansion, nearing US$40
I go to the guy. I go to buy it. I have the gold.
But you ALSO need 200 Macguffins specific to that expansion.
I have 150.
"Where do they come from?" well random rewards from shit, you know. Just around the game or whatever.
Me: [serial killer smile] Okay. Fine.
I grind it out for a few more hours. I get very lucky with a treasure chest. And I finally, FINALLY buy the mount for this skin.
Three real-ass days, nearly $40 in real money expenditures, and a huge pain in the ass of gameplay later.